Why awareness is the first step to change
In his search for proof of his existence, the philosopher Descartes concluded “I think therefore I am”. But neuroscience now shows us that there are in fact different ways to think. Consciousness is an awareness of your body and your environment whereas self-awareness is recognition of that consciousness. Meaning that you are aware of your existence. And it’s from this state of mind that change can happen.
We spend around 50% of our thinking time in a region of the brain called the Default Mode Network (DMN). In this mode we plan, daydream and ruminate. The name ‘default’ is due to its automatic nature and ability to be lost in thought. The DMN is where the mind drifts, where you take in information from the outside world and then attach a story or meaning to it. One thought leads you to another and before you know it you’ve walked all the way home without any awareness of how you got there.
However, in contrast, when we use our conscious awareness we activate the Direct Experience (or empathic) Network. From this place we can reflect and think creatively in the present moment, fully aware of ourselves and our environment. We are experiencing life as it happens.
So, how can we use this information in the mindfulness coaching process? And how do we guide a client from one network to another? To answer these questions, let’s take a look at the wonderful things can happen in this place for a client.
How awareness can bring about change in you
A key component of coaching is to explore the client’s experience in relation to the situation they’ve described. From this space a client can gain new insights into themselves. However, this can only be done in the present moment, and so for this wisdom to emerge, the coach has to guide the client to be fully aware in order to experience what they’re feeling and noticing in the here and now. They need an elevated self-awareness.
Client’s minds are actually ‘closed' by default, which means the client is in their comfort zone. They are on autopilot and operating from a place where historic behavioural and emotional habitual patterns play out. It’s the coach’s job to create space in the client’s mind so they can become aware of these ingrained and ‘invisible’ patterns them.
There are a number of ways we can begin to do this, for instance by building rapport and offering a safe psychological space. It’s essential to create a trusting partnership with the client, because when they feel deeply listened to and feel a social connection and supported by the coach, the client will become motivated to change.
Awareness occurs when we transition a client from ‘analytical’ to ‘reflective’ thinking, taking them out of their ‘story’, out of the past and into the present moment. Asking questions like “as I’m observing X, what’s coming up for you?” invites the client to become aware of their experience in the present moment. And from here they can begin to notice the storylines they’ve created in their minds around expectations or pressures, or maybe just how much noise is going on in their mind. This allows the client to surface the thoughts and feelings they weren’t previously of aware of. It’s that ‘Aha’ moment, when a client sees something about themselves they haven’t previously seen.
During this heightened awareness the client can deepen their own learning. It’s a much more powerful experience than simply suggesting a solution to them. When these insights originate from the client, the brain learns more deeply and the client feels empowered.
We also know that learning happens more deeply in the presence of emotions and that we can only experience our emotions in the present moment. They enable clients to gain a heightened awareness of their choices and help to align their intentions with actions. There are so many demands and pressures in life that unless the client is connected and aware of the deep desire they have for change, the initial motivation will soon atrophy in importance.
Sustained motivation for change comes from creating a sense of affective meaning. In order to discover and draw out deep, honest insights we first need to guide the client to become aware. We want to stimulate vertical thinking as quickly as possible so the client starts to learn about themselves and open their awareness.
This first step of awareness is crucial to the change process as it allows the client to start seeing the world differently and adopt a creative mindset and reflective thinking. They’re now getting a different perspective. When clients are more fully aware and present they’re better placed to tap into and experience their broader intelligence. Until they are aware of it, they can’t change it.
Eckhart Tolle puts it beautifully when he says “Rather than being your thoughts and emotions, be the awareness behind them.”
A place of deep intuition
When we temporarily ‘switch off’ our analytical minds we have a wealth of information and understanding at our fingertips. This switch doesn’t come naturally because it’s easier and more habitual for us stay up in our heads, the same thoughts going round and round before arriving back in the same place. However this deep awareness of what we actually need lies in this place of intuition.
The role of the coach is to guide the client to this place so they can reflect on what their situation means to them. To look within themselves to understand why they perceive the situation the way they do. We help them to feel empowered by this internal source, to nurture self trust and self belief. The coaches role here is to help clients to recognise that they already have everything they need in order to move forward.
Awareness is absolutely key to this emotional growth and change. Without this, clients have less options available to them and they will remain stuck in their existing and potentially limited thinking and end up at the same place over and over again.
As Einstein said, “The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over again and expecting different results”.
To change we need choice. To create choice we need clarity and to gain clarity we need awareness.
