The Crucial Element Required for Self Discipline

In our personal growth journey, whether it’s adopting new habits or altering existing behaviours, we often find ourselves relying heavily on willpower. This common approach, while initially effective, tends to be unsustainable in the long run. The true catalyst for enduring change isn’t just willpower—it’s discipline, and at the core of discipline lies a deep, resonant self-love. Without this fundamental appreciation and love for oneself, maintaining the drive to follow through on new resolutions can become an insurmountable challenge. Discipline is essential for those moments when motivation wanes, but its longevity is heavily dependent on our connection to our personal why’s - the reasons why the change is beneficial, why it matters to us, and why we are unquestionably worth the effort.

As I’ve slowed my life down over the last 5 years of so, I’ve noticed a difference in my discipline. As I removed that sense of rushing, hustle, and pushing in work and in general, my experience of self discipline also changed.

It’s been a long journey to allow myself to enjoy my life. It now has more space and calm and peace and joy. What I didn’t plan for or expect is how this effected my discipline and how I got stuff done. I noticed it’s harder to implement new habits make changes whether that’s practical or behavioural now. Even with all of my mindfulness techniques to hand.

One way you could explore how this might be present for you is to contemplate how you’ve changed over the years. What’s important to you now? What areas of your life do you need discipline?

We all change over time. Whether we do that intentionally or not, so we also need to adjust how we live our lives. If we want to live authentically and in flow, instead of feeling dragged along or ‘behind’, we need to give space to find what works for us now.

How can we reinvent our relationship with discipline?

Kate Greenslade, PCC

The Foundation of Discipline is Self Love

Discipline is often misunderstood. It’s not about strict adherence to rules or punishing oneself for not meeting goals. Rather, it’s about aligning one’s actions with one’s values and desires. This alignment becomes possible through self-love. When we truly love ourselves, we understand and feel that we deserve to achieve what we desire, which catalyzes and sustains our disciplinary efforts. This is why self-love is not merely a state of feeling good about oneself; it is the bedrock upon which the stronghold of discipline is built.

How to Use Mindfulness to Cultivate Self Love

Mindfulness offers a practical, accessible approach to fostering self-love. By engaging in mindfulness practices, we can develop a more compassionate and appreciative relationship with ourselves, which in turn enhances our discipline. Here are some specific mindfulness practices aimed at strengthening self-love:

1. Talk to Yourself

Begin your day by looking into the mirror and affirming, “I love you,” aloud. This might feel awkward or silly at first, but the power of spoken words is immense. Verbal affirmations can positively affect our self-perception and mental state over time, gradually enhancing our self-esteem and thereby laying a fertile ground for disciplined habits.

2. Contemplate You

Dedicate a moment each day to consider your unique qualities and achievements. Reflect on the gifts you bring to your community, the value you offer to your family, and the appreciation your friends have for you. Think about the aspects of your character that make you smile and feel a sense of pride. This practice of self-reflection can deepen your appreciation for yourself and bolster the confidence needed for disciplined living.

3. Drop Perfectionism

Perfectionism can significantly impede our sense of self-love and our ability to maintain discipline. It fosters an unhealthy focus on others’ perceptions and unrealistic comparisons. Remember, the aim is not to be flawless but to be continuously growing. Acknowledge that making mistakes and experiencing setbacks are part of the human experience. By embracing your authentic self and letting go of the compulsion to be perfect, you allow yourself the freedom to pursue your goals more wholeheartedly.

Expanding the Practice of Self Love

4. Practice Forgiveness

Part of loving yourself is learning to forgive yourself. Self-forgiveness is a crucial element in the journey of self-love and discipline. When we hold onto past mistakes, we give them power over our present actions. By forgiving ourselves, we clear a path for new behaviors and freer choices.

5. Set Boundaries

Setting healthy boundaries is an act of self-love that supports discipline. By defining what is acceptable and what isn’t in how others treat us and how we treat ourselves, we protect our energy and focus for the things that truly matter.

6. Connect with Your Body

Engage in activities that make you feel good about your body. Whether it’s yoga, dancing, walking, or more structured exercise, physical activity enhances your physical and mental health, which is essential for self-love.

Getting Started…

True discipline is rooted in a profound sense of self love. If you want to be able to do the things you’ve decided to do but find hard, you’ll need a healthy amount of self love to make this a lasting habit.

Pick one practice from the list above, or create your own bespoke self love practice, and just focus on that for a few weeks.

Commit to doing it every day, even if you don’t want to. Trust in the process and notice real change taking place.

Each act of self love is a step toward a more disciplined and fulfilling life.

Much love,

Kate ❤️

Written by Kate Greenslade, Certifed Mindfulness Coach.

Click here to learn more about how Kate can help you to embed mindful self discipline into your life.