How to manage a fear of failure
A fear of failure (or Atychiphobia as it is known) can put the brakes on so many areas of your life. It has the power to ruin relationships, stagnate your business, put a stop to personal development work, and it can interfere with your relationship with you family, friends and colleagues.
But even with the destruction it causes, we can be oblivious to its meddling. We can be unaware of its presence and power. So now we have a double whammy. Having a fear of failure AND not being fully aware of when it’s here and how it’s interfering in our life and causing havoc.
These are some of the ways it can show up in life. Do any of these situations feel familiar to you?
→ You hear about a promotion at work, but you don’t have enough time to submit your application for it because you’re just too busy!
→ You’re unhappy in your relationship but you can’t see a way out. You want to make it better but you don’t know how. So you feel stuck in this middle ground of unhappiness and disempowerment.
→ You’ve always wanted to do a physical challenge like climb a mountain, start yoga or do a half marathon, but you’ve never got round to signing up because there’s never a good time and you can’t find the best group to train with.
If any of those feel familiar to you, you’re not alone!
Your brain is designed to create detailed and believable stories that convince you of whatever will keep you in a safe and predictable state. Going outside of your comfort zone is not something your brain wants you to do. Its sole purpose is to predict threats and danger and to keep you away from them. Both physical and emotional.
Frustrating to say the least. So this means you have to work hard to train your brain to do something different. To try something new. To go out of its comfort zone. And this zone is ultimately where you grow, and have extraordinary experiences and the best fun.
“Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate.”
So, back to how a fear of failure infiltrates your life. Take one scenario that’s happened recently in your life. Use one of the examples above as inspiration if you like.
Now, take a moment to bring that situation to mind. Bring it closer. Allow your thoughts to come and go, let any thoughts that justify the story of the situation to be present. Maybe even imagine the thoughts circling your mind, like birds in a cartoon when someone gets hit over the head 😄
Now, keep that vision of the situation there and now also feel your breath. Follow your breathing, in and out. And imagine yourself sinking down below those circling birds thoughts. Spend a moment here, in the depths of you. In your inner world. Sinking into your intuition.
Now, from this place ask yourself what is underneath the story?
What is the emotion that is being suppressed here?
Is there any fear here?
What does your intuition want to tell you?
Ok. Take a moment. Breath again.
Write anything down that came to you.
And if nothing did, that’s fine too. You can always come back to this exercise any time.
🌿
This is how we expand our capacity of awareness. This is the first step to managing a fear of failure. Having a rich awareness of where it shows up, and how it shows up in your life.
And this is so true. We can’t change what we don’t know. Which is why practicing these mindfulness based techniques are so powerful. They show us ways of increasing our self awareness, so we understand ourselves more fully.
You can then see who you really are and what drives your behaviour.
And it’s from this place that you now have choice….
Written by Kate Greenslade
Find out more about how Mindfulness Coaching can help you feel more confident to live the life you want.